Telecalling!

by Mr Kapil Mehta

A common topic of discussion now-a-days is harassment by telecallers. Everybody has a good laugh when they hear about the CEO who is being chased by calls from his own company. However, in my view the issue is no longer funny. Here are some personal experiences that explain my frustration:

1. The sheer number of calls is overwhelming. I must have received atleast 30 phone calls from insurance companies when my car insurance came up for renewal. About 2 to 4 calls a day is the average and weekend afternoons, when one is enjoying a siesta, are the worst.
   


2. The quality of telecalling is abysmal. Here are some sample conversations that I have had:
   
   Telecaller: Good Afternoon Sir, I’m calling from Reliance Bank
   Me: Reliance does not have a bank
   Telecaller: Oh. I’m sorry Sir. I’m calling from ICICI Bank
   I bang the phone down
   
   Telecaller: Good Afternoon Sir, I’m calling from ABN Amro bank. We can give you a loan at a really low 2 per cent
   Me: What is the annual interest rate?
   Silence. Telecaller checks with supervisor
   Telecaller: 25% Sir
   Me: Isn’t that a ridiculously high rate given that your bank will give me a loan against shares at 10%?
   Telecaller bangs the phone down
   
   Telecaller: Good Afternoon Sir. Am I speaking to Mr. Durga Das Sachdev?
   Me: That’s my grandfather. He passed away last year
   Telecaller: We have an excellent new ife insurance policy
   Me: My grandfather is no more
   Telecaller: You only have to give Rs 2000 each month
   I bang the phone down
   
   Telecaller: Good Afternoon Sir, We would like to offer you an ICICI Bank credit card
   Me: What’s my name?
   Telecaller: Ramesh?
   Me: No. Try again
   Telecaller: Ajit?
   Me: No. Try again
   Telecaller: Actually Sir. We are given only numbers and no names
   I bang the phone down
   


3. All banks have a Do not Disturb option on their website. I have registered on all sites but it seems to have no effect. The right hand does not know what the left is doing. I’ve received multiple calls from the same bank on one day. No matter what you do the calls just keep coming in.
   

Clearly there is lot of work to be done to eliminate this menace. Here are my suggestions:

Telecom Regulators

• Penalize companies for telecalling when a person has registered for the ‘Do not Disturb’ facility
  


• Ensure that companies need to take a specific approval from customers prior to calling i.e. the default should be registration for ‘Do not Disturb’
  


• Ensure telecallers call from pre-assigned numbers that identify the company
  

Phone Companies

• Don’t waste good money on telecalling. It spoils your brand and the few customers you acquire are not worth the ill-will generated

Individuals

• Do not pick up unrecognized numbers. Activate your voice mail and let these calls go into that.
  


• In case you do pick up a call, politely decline and express no interest in the product. Do not bang the phone down because then your lack of interest is not registered in the database. Don't be abusive. If it becomes too much for you to handle then hand over the phone to your 3 year old child when that call comes. There is a lot you can learn from the calm manner in which your child handles the call.
  

Technology companies

• Manufacturers should develop mobile technology that automatically forwards unrecognized numbers to the voice mail
  


• A phone that has different ring tones for different types of callers will be very helpful

The most charming travelling companions in town!

by Dr Anjali Mehta

My better half, Kapil has been asking me to accompany him to the states on one of his trips there so that I too can enjoy seeing a new country. I have not been able to oblige him because , being a rather doting mother, I cannot bring myself to travel without my two little brats . However nor can I bring myself to venture a long flight with them. These flashbacks into the past will help you understand why!


My daughter Tamanna, and I were on a flight to Bangkok and she had mild fever. As I could not hold her and measure out her syrups myself, a kind sardarji neighbour willingly obliged.He expressed friendliness out of compassion for the sick child and tried to engage with her. The child rewarded him by beaming at him and deftly kicking a glass of water onto his lap.The poor gentleman tried to undo the damage with tissues but the seat and his trouser were firmly wet.
Later when the food arrived, little bits kept tumbling onto his (wet!) lap thanks to the antics of the little one. I kept trying to field whatever bits I could before they reached his lap much like a desperate goalkeeper in a finals match but my daughter was clearly a champion scorer.I kept murmuring apologies.He heaved a sigh of relief when the food trays were taken away and put on his headphones to enjoy the inflight movie. It was then that Tamanna decided that she wanted his phones and stood up to pull them off his ears. No amount of reasoning could deter her from her singleminded goal. Not even her own set of phones. A protracted game of tugging ensued and the further the sardarji leaned away the more determined became the hurls of her body in that direction. Anyone who has tried to hold down a struggling child knows the superhuman strenghth they possess.I strained every conceivable sinew but was unsuccessful in stopping her. Finally the neighbour just surrendered to the focused daughter-distressed mother duo and handed over his earphones!
After some more novel ways of torturing the gentleman further she finally dozed off and a I have not heard a greater sigh of relief than that which emanated from my neighbour! An hour later, as we were landing, she stirred in her slumber and I will never forget the look of pure terror on the gentleman’s face as he turned to his neighbour and remarked-“the devil is waking up!”



On another flight to Bangkok where we had wonderful hostesses, my daughter being well this time was full of even greater energy. She decided to expend that by running up and down the aisles with me giving chase. Though tiring, it was not a bad deal. Till she devised a little game. This involved walking up to the airhostess, winning her friendship (which is very easy when one is blessed with an angelic face) and then when the hostess least suspected it, trying to pull off her sarong! No amount of reasoning on the part of the airhostesses or me seemed to make her desist from this game.It turned out to be an extremely tiring flight with one determined girl, one extremely harried and embarrassed mother and a couple of pretty airhostesses clutching their sarongs tightly racing back and forth between the aisles.


Other eventful flights involved stacking butter and jam tubs as a substitute for lego building blocks, running off to return with pieces of food from the plates of unsuspecting passengers in front and many many more…...

My son, Aditya a newer entrant to the skies, alternates between wailing loudly with head flung full back for maximum resonance or running between the aisles as fast as his little legs can carry him.


I find myself constantly amazed at human tolerance and kindness and ask for God’s blessings for staff crew and fellow passengers! Meanwhile it will take me a while to recover from this trauma and build up the nerve to fly with my two little friends.

How to enjoy ELEVATE – the Happening Dance Bar in Town

by Kapil Mehta

About a fortnight ago Anjali and I, along with a few friends went to ELEVATE in Noida. For those of you on the wrong side of 35, ELEVATE is by far the most popular dance bar in the NCR. The visit was an eye opener. From our personal experience, here is what not to do so that you really enjoy:

Don’t:

Walk in without a reservation

Nothing delights the concierge more than an unsuspecting walk-in customer. They are all promptly shooed away. However, handing out an impressive visiting card does work.

Dress sloppily

Slippers are not allowed even if the rest of you is fully clothed. However, the other way is fine i.e. if you have shoes and the rest of you is unclothed.

Tattoos and pokey hair are ok. Both sexes may wear earings and ponytails. However, skirts are advised only for women.

Go too early

The first sign of civilization is at midnight. One am is safer.

Expect Bhangra pop on a house day

Typically, the music on this day is a mind-numbing techno beat that makes Bappi Lahiri sound good. However, I did notice that after about an hour, our friends were in a hypnotic trance and actually enjoying.

Jump onto the DJ’s platform

A bouncer with huge biceps will drag you by the hair and send you back to the dance floor. No – it does not matter that all you were asking the DJ was to play semi-recognizable music.

Expect to converse

This is great for introverted folks like me. The music is so loud that no one can hear what you say. Therefore you could (a) keep smiling knowledgeably as others make conversation, (b) pretend as if you are actually saying something, or (c) get a faraway look as if the music has reminded you of something very very deep.

The bar is open only on fridays and weekends. Enjoy yourself!

Where have our Animal Friends gone?

 (Sunday supplement, The Tribune)

This article seeks to examine how and why animals, who play such a dominant role in our young lives suddenly lose their importance. This is quite baffling especially when considered in the context that childhood events leave lasting impressions.

Within days of making our first “contact” with humans, we make our first contact with animals. Albeit this is a “stuffed”one. All of us would be able to recollect sans much difficulty the cuddly teddy on the pillow, the leo toy with prominently darting eyes which helped us develop our own ocular fixation and our first “favourite friend”, whichever toy it may be, on whose little stuffed shoulder we poured our stories out.

Surrounded by our furry friends we reached toddlerhood. Again animals came to our rescue in the classroom as we learnt the alphabet through memorizing their pictures. Who can forget the pleasant cadence of “C for cat, D for dog and E for elephant?” In our holidays, weary and tested relatives kept our spirits up with trips to the zoo. We squealed with uncontainable delight at any move made by an animal . We admired the giraffes long neck, the bears luxuriant fur,the steely gaze of the tiger and the agile antics of the monkeys.We fed swans that glided by on edges of lakes and watched birds and squirrels with wry amusement.When we fell sick, the doctor would try and hold our attention with pictures of Mickey mouse,Daisy duck et al and this seemed to be the only way to get our undivided attention!

As we grew older,we learnt in geography of the Savannah grasslands and Amazon forests and the species they supported. We made scrapbooks of animal facts and animal pictures. We saw programmes on tv about animals in their natural habitats as well as special animals that could do tricks and interact with people in unusual ways.We collected pretty little ladybirds, wrote essays on animals and some of us learnt horse riding in school. We bought fishes in packets for our aquariums,and pestered our parents to let us keep a rabbit or two or maybe a puppy or bird.So far so good. It would be fair to say that animals played an overwhelming role in our lives.We could justly conclude that animals provided friendship, facilitated our learning and education, contributed to our knowledge and happiness, gave us endless hours of joy and even helped our health care providers make better judgements about our state of health.

But then… something changed. The years had sped past and we were adults struggling to find our place in the world.We were still exposed to animals but in increasingly limited ways.However the sheer delight they once aroused in our hearts was replaced by very pedestrian emotions.When we saw a little dog we saw its teeth and dirty fur and kept a safe distance.When we took our children to the zoo we fretted that they should not get hurt or get too close to the cages. We made sure they had their promised icecreams. We looked upon the monkeys that resided in the trees near our offices as nuisances and thought of the repair bills we would have to pay if our cars got dented.We felt a sense of shock if the newspapers carried a report of some animal harming a child or attacking an adult.

Somewhere we deserted our childhood friends and totally abandoned them.First we destroy their habitats and feel surprised when out of lack of choice they are forced to venture nearer our homes or habitations. We kill them for sport, fashion, food, money and every conceivable reason.We save our compassion only for other members of our own species who we perceive to be less fortunate than us but don’t have hearts large enough to accommodate other species. We don’t feel any sense of kinship nor any gratitude for our old friends. We simply cast them aside. Like that.

This is totally baffling considering that the old childhood acquaintances,memories, haunts, tastes or the familiar tunes of our young years can leave such warm and indelible impressions.They can conjure up smiles or even bring tears to our eyes.So what about our childhood worlds of nature??

However the scenario though bleak is not black because amongst us there dwell many compassionate and enlightened hearts who are able to encompass all creatures into their circle of love. So we have dedicated scientists and conservationists, several of them giants in their field who reach out to our old friends,study their habits, understand them, protect them, nurture them. Thus they in some small measure at least lighten the burden of debt for the rest of us!

Long live these wonderful people, long live our old friends the animals and as for the rest of us….we need to wake up to many things, we need to reconcile with our old friends….

Some possible ways of easing the burden on our conscience are :

1. Daily acts of kindness towards animals such as feeding birds, putting out water bowls,helping sick animals etc.


2.Being good to domestic pets and looking after them to our utmost ability.
3. Not buying caged birds, not eating the meat of endangered species, tending towards vegetarianism, not buying fur, peacock feathers etc.

4. Speaking up/ speaking out when confronted with an act involving cruelty to any animal.

5. Using the Right to Information act to get out details about animal numbers, habitats and sanctuary data.

6. Public interest litigation against destruction of our ecology and depleting animal habitats.

7. Public debates on prime time( e.g we the people with ms Barkha Dutt) to discuss animal related issues.