The Statesman, Aug 15 , 2019
When growing
up, one of the simple joys of life was talking: long, animated, often uninhibited
exchanges punctuated by smiles, laughter, gasps or even silence. A friend was someone you could talk to about
everything under the sun. I remember sitting up late at night conversing with
friends till sleep overtook us, or discussing ideas passionately over a single long
drawn out cup of coffee in a restaurant where the waiters thought it more
important to let friends talk rather than earn an extra buck with a new set of
customers. People talked, argued,
laughed, reasoned, teased, cajoled, and admonished. The act of talking was a
relief, if not an outright pleasure.
Although we
are in the midst of an explosion of social media, this unfettered, meaningful communication
seems to be difficult to achieve. The reach of our conversation has increased, but
its quality and our satisfaction has reduced.
Much of the
talking that was done face - to- face is now over social media apps. A lot of
the warmth and the nuances of good conversation, the non - verbal cues are
lost in the exchange. This leads to greater miscommunication and
misunderstandings as the expressions and tone cannot always be correctly
inferred. Communication on social media thrives on brevity as attention spans
are limited. Excellent conversationalists suddenly find themselves challenged
by the need to constantly abbreviate and summarize. Some are not technically conversant
with tools on social media and have a limited understanding of emoticons thus
making their conversations sound sterile and robotic.
We now focus
far too much on the speakers’ background and affiliation and too little on the
content of the speech. Suspicion runs deep in today’s polarized world and distrust
abounds. Recently, when the question arose of whether doctoral dissertations in
universities should come under political scrutiny it led to a justified public
debate. On one hand was the academics’ view that being experienced, they could
better identify the critical and in-depth studies needed in their field of
expertise. On the other hand were politicians who wanted to put their stamp on
academia by allowing funding for only those theses which they deemed to be of ‘national
importance’. Such citizens that simply just debated this topic were deemed to
be anti -government. Similar conundrums have existed for ages: for example,
should scientists who have a deeper understanding of the subject decide climate
change policies or should politicians? Most conversation now has acquired a
political flavor. People are uncomfortable plumbing the depths of a topic as
what they say is made out to have a deeper political meaning, even if none
exists.
Conversations
are open to a large group of people and this attracts trolls also. These trolls
disrupt meaningful conversations. If at first the trolls do not succeed, their involvement
with the conversation becomes increasingly abusive and hostile till the speaker
is either forced to defend himself or get angry and distracted or simply
block/report the troll. The end result is that the original idea gets totally
deflected, lost in an obfuscating smoke of negativity. It also makes one very
uneasy to find that one’s conversations are monitored.
There exists
a conversational overload. If you subscribe to several platforms like Face book,
Whatsapp, Instagram etc, a substantial amount of your time could be taken up in
interacting with friends or colleagues or just anyone else who may have posted
something that catches your attention. In attending to too many conversations
at the same time, we are unable to let a worthwhile conversation blossom.
Finally, it is
difficult to converse with the many ‘anonymous ‘people ubiquitous in every
group. In ordinary conversations on social groups, it is not easy to talk as
naturally and freely as one would like to as there remains an air of formality
with strangers - nameless, faceless individuals who would also end up getting
addressed in the conversation.
Given these challenges
to wholesome conversations, there is a great deal to be said about engaging in good
old face - to - face interactions more frequently. Also in order to have a more
meaningful conversation, conversing in smaller groups on WhatsApp is better, where
the thread is not lost due to random forwards. Larger groups should be used for
professional discussions and invitations to programmes or putting out useful
information for the public at large.
In bygone
times, it was known as the Art of Conversation, where the personality of the
persons engaging in conversation shone through. The joy of a deep conversation,
in a safe environment with the right people is almost therapeutic- it is satisfying,
stimulating, and rejuvenating. Nowadays people always seem to be in a rush so
conversations are also getting abbreviated. Into the realm of healthy
discussions there have crept in undesirable changes reflective of the times we
live in .So is there not some innovative way of reclaiming the art of good
conversation and rediscovering its lost joy?
