As Special as a Woman

 The Statesman, March 2021

International Women’s day will be celebrated on 8^th March this year, and as always, one’s thoughts turn towards women. We reflect on their struggles, their achievements, and their sometime extraordinary lives. The theme for International Women’s day 2021 is -Women in leadership: achieving an equal future in a COVID 19 world. I laud some unsung leaders who take the reins of life firmly in their capable hands.

 The first are the girls and women who work in fields, or rear cattle, to keep their homes and hearths running. It seems an ordinary enough life, but in actual fact they effortlessly tackle a daily spectrum of tough challenges. Women in the hills rise early and take their goats for grazing on mountainsides. Armed with sickles, they climb up on trees to cut branches and leaves for a rainy day, while the goats contentedly graze on the grass below. They are compelled to go out and face the elements -rain, hail or snow, and maintain their balance on slippery slopes, to keep their herd well-fed. Not for them the protective gear that professionals or sportsmen enjoy - golfing gloves to grip smooth irons better or the cricket shin pads that save muscular legs from the thump of a hard ball. In the olden days, it was the men who were considered the hunter-gatherers, but women play that role now. A lady in our caretaker’s family, Asha Devi, once bravely snatched her goat back from the jaws of a leopard. Of course, the goat was cooked for dinner by the poor family as it was too badly injured to survive.

In the plains, many young women face perils of a different sort when they go to gather the crops. The predators here can have a more human form. One hears unfortunate tales of many a young girl who is accosted while out in the fields alone or harmed by a stalker whose feelings she didn’t reciprocate. Ancient drawings depict young warrior men heading home after the hunt with animal carcasses slung on their backs. Now we see young girls on village roads heading back with the household water carried on their strong heads and shoulders.

 In the urban areas too, very young girls are literally holding the fort. We had an eye camp in Khora colony recently at a school for underprivileged children. I was concerned whether the children would be able to carry their camp documents home safely to their parents and not lose them. The principal assured me that some children are so responsible that they manage their entire household, even locking the dwelling prior to departure, themselves. She narrated stories of young children who cooked and looked after their alcoholic fathers and other siblings after the demise of their mother. It was remarkable, as also a testimony to her commitment that these children somehow showed up at school daily, even with all these burdens on their young shoulders.

All these women, young and old, keep the wheels of life turning. Despite this, the prevailing social circumstances do not allow women to take pivotal decisions pertaining to their lives. Rigid stereotypes still exist of their destinies being governed by hookah wielding patriarchs sitting comfortably under trees while women face exclusion and marginalization in decision making.

The second group I would like to laud are the fearless and feisty women activists who have been at the forefront of several popular protest movements in India. Many have been subjected to media trolling, bullying by the local authorities and undeserved jail sentences. I have a deep respect for activists because of their high level of empathy for others and their sense of justice which makes them work selflessly. Among many others, we had activists like Pinjra Tod NGO members, Natasha Narwal and Devangana Kalita, fighting for the security of immigrants in far-off states, though they are themselves based in Delhi. I saw a news clip on Natasha’s father (she lost her mother as a child) where he speaks so fondly and proudly of his daughter’s gender related activism. It was very moving. Though many people stand loyally with family and friends through their upheavals; it is activists who are the refuge of strangers in trouble.

History is replete with stories of activists who made great personal sacrifices for the good of the community. Like Nangeli of Cherthala village of Kerala, a poor Ezhava woman who cut off her breasts with a sickle when she was forced to pay tax for the ‘luxury’ of being allowed to cover them (only higher caste women were allowed to cover their breasts in Travancore in those days, anyone else doing so, was taxed). Her actions led to the abolition of the tax.

What is ironical is that people who spend millions advertising their products and lobbying officials to increase their own net worth, are deemed ‘successful’ in society, but activists who work to bring in changes that improve the quality of life of thousands are held in disdain by authorities for their social lobbying.

 The third group I would like to focus on are housewives. A friend gave me a lovely definition of a mother as ‘someone who can contain you’. Indeed, housewives have been the glue holding large joint families together and the generous sponges soaking up the disappointments faced by spouses and children. Like alchemists they turn the nadirs in their families’ lives into opportunities, hope and even positive outcomes through sheer strength of effort and character.  Housewives work long hours without payment and even without adequate recognition at times. They learn to draw their sustenance from the welfare and happiness of their families. A recently released movie ‘The Great Indian Kitchen’ highlighted exquisitely the monotonous and relentless drill in the kitchen that some housewives follow day in and day out, till they are literally ready to drop with exhaustion at the end of a long day of chores.

In the times of the COVID pandemic housewives have faced exceptional challenges – increased demands on their time from family members confined to the home, the frayed nerves and tempers of relatives displaced by the turn of events, increased incidents of domestic violence and reduced outlets for relaxation for themselves (in the form of friends or outings). Yet they have soldiered on, graciously believing that they have not been singled out, that others are facing their own challenges during the pandemic. As always, they think empathically of others.

In the professional world, a lot of care and enormous amounts of time go into apportioning credit for work done, and dealing with the angst of professionals who feel they did all the work but someone else got the pay hike or promotion. Yet at home, the same detail of appreciation is rarely meted out by the ‘head of the family’ or other members to the Atlas- like woman holding up the family’s personal world on her shoulders.

On International Woman’s day 2021, let us celebrate each and every woman as a special being with an important role to play in the changing world. That means shattering the barriers that hold back women. Let us truly hope that this women’s day is a turning point where women find a greater respect for their voice, their work, their thoughts and get to realize their full potential.